To my heart, sweet heart, to my sweet, sweet love:
Since Valentine’s Day last year, your whole outlook has changed. I watch you strive and love, and I watch your heart break just a little like mine every time she does something new, gets a little bigger, grows a little taller. Tiny eyes, hands and feet, tiny voice and tiny hugs, growing into who she will become. Watching you love her has been such a blessing in this life. She is your girl, no doubt about it. Becoming a family and starting this journey with you as Mama and Daddy will be our greatest adventure. I remember the look in your eyes when we first saw her heartbeat, when we saw she was “she” and I fell in love with you again. The funny thing about watching the man you love grow into a wonderful Father is that somehow your chest keeps expanding to absorb the soul-crushing memories into your heart and hold them there forever. We take pictures and laugh, but deep inside I struggle with worry about what is around the corner. I have mini-panic-attacks in just a second or two. But, then, there you are, and I remember God’s promise for the covenant we made together: you are there in front of us. You are our protector and our fighter. You cover us in prayer at night and fight your own battles to rise above, to be something greater. You strive to make us better and lead us, and you are. You are. You and I, we made something that’s beautiful and messy, chaotic at times and a lot of hard work, but there is not one thing I would change. This weekend we will celebrate our Fathers too, but Aurelia will look up at you, scream Dada at the top of her lungs, and I’ll probably cry at the sight of pure happiness on your face. Your Father’s heart in this first full year has only made me love you more. I’ve been given more than I deserve, and I wanted you to know how I see you love our babies, and what a blessing you truly are. And I needed more room than the inside of a Father’s Day card, so I thought this would do.
All my love, my sweet husband.
No matter what the word Father means to you, how it may hurt, how your own father or the father of your children has fallen short of what the responsibility truly means, or if you’ve lost him, or he has left, please know that God’s design and absolute perfection of a father’s unconditional love can only be found in Him. If Father’s Day is hard for you, regardless of whether you accept it, or believe, there is an unwavering commitment to you through the love of Jesus Christ. I hope this Sunday is a beautiful one for you. If you hug your Daddy or kiss your husband, remember when you snuggle your sons that you are raising them to be fathers one day too.
To all the Dads out there, happy Father’s Day. And happy weekend!